Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Wahoo Tour Day Three: Friction Evaluation Unit
Tue, July 25, 2017 | link
Day 3 starts
at Waffle House. I don't know it now, but today is our speed day along flat stretches of U.S. 90, the triumph of
There is going to be a
surprising amount of friction today, but we are innocent of that over our waffles and bacon and coffee.
We visit in morning light Lake DeFuniak
and wonder anew at the Edwardian homes around its mile-long perimeter, the anomaly of the Chautauqua Hall
of Brotherhood (not a Marvel set piece, an actual relic of a time so, so very different from our own) and its preservation
in Florida where stuff is torn down as civic duty, economic necessity and scheme-preserving matter of course. There's the
library, born of the virtuous Chautauqua movement as well. The stage and amphitheater, too, pose a conundrum against rural
Florida expectations where mass delusion colludes to tell a story about annual live theater festivals of exceeding popularity.
Pull my other leg.
We leave DeFuniak Springs. Our paths
cross in Mossy Head with Bill Conner, a man so clearly grieving a darkening cloud seems to park above his
head. He is riding from Madison, Wisc., to Fort Lauderdale to meet the transplant doctors who harvested his 20-year-old daughter's
organs to save multiple lives. "Enjoy him while you can," he says to me about Avery without evangelizing.
Before we reach the city limits on our way out of
town a pickup passenger is the first and only to yell at us. "Get on the sidewalk," he offers, though not in a way
inviting further dialogue.
we see steel girders rising, lifted by a crane into place outlining a defined embryonic courthouse. We aim at lunch in
Holt down the road. Susan's restaurant proves worthy of the pedal.
fill our bellies, cool our jets and refresh our legs for a swift afternoon.
On the far side of Holt we bolt
down the highway, moving at pace. A new white truck idles between the Old Spanish Trail and the CSX tracks to our right. We
race on along this flat, straight stretch. Soon the truck and its hitched trailer passes in the far lane. Twenty seconds later
I am jolted into lever-grabbing reflex when the truck, now 100 yards ahead, squeals and smokes its tires as if braking to
avoid a crash.
Here we go. I brace
for impact. I scan frantically for the cause of the impending crash and any dangers nearing us. None come. Pedal on. In a
minute, again the tires of the truck lock up and squeal, raise white smoke and just as suddenly roll on again. Realization
dawns. This is on purpose.
Evaluation Unit. The truck and the apparatus it hauls behind it brake purposefully and skid the tires. Water sprays simultaneous
with the braking.
My tax dollars at work.
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Wahoo Tour Day Two: Choctawhatchee Chariot
Sun, July 23, 2017 | link
Day 2 begins in
the wrong direction, heading a mile east to retrace our route to the courthouse. It's amazing what a new coat of paint will
do for what had been a serious contender as least attractive courthouse in the state.
The requisite photos taken, we re-pedal our way
back along U.S. Highway 90 -- past Marianna's Spanish revival post office -- to the Hinson House and, soon enough,
our eggs and bacon, pancakes and coffee for fuel. It makes for a late-ish start. Our rain on Day 1 was dispiriting in the
moment but proves a harbinger of this temperate morning left in its wake.
A delightful morning starts straight and flat through Cottondale and soon enough the last of Jackson
County rolls beneath our tires. Our first foray into Washington County delivers us swiftly into Chipley, the town FDOT made.
The Washington County Courthouse is new and puts a prosperous sheen upon Chipley.
Onward we go, spanning Holmes Creek and, as a consequence,
into Holmes County. In Bonifay is an unpresupposing courthouse marked by a flagpole and flag, humble monumentary and steady
walk-up business from the angled-in vehicles parked curbside.
We scour our way back to Holiday Restaurant. Friendly lunch-goers chat us up. A waitress prompts us
to grab the open end of a long occupied table in the bustling restaurant. Avery has a 10/10 bacon cheeseburger and I have
chicken fried steak, black-eyed peas (promoted as lima beans), carrots and gravy-laden rice. Other diners engage us in
We are in the county seat of Holmes, the Florida
jurisdiction with the highest percentage Trump vote, 89 percent of the ballots cast in November. It's only
8,300 actual votes, but that's still an LBJ-in-King-County level split. I stress I do not question for one second the legitimacy
of the vote. I am, in fact, surprised it's not higher for Trump.
After lunch we pass back into Washington County
for a spell, then again enter Holmes. Next we complete a crossing of the out-of-its-banks and silt-brown Choctawhatchee River,
aswirl with eddies downstream of railroad trellis piers. Over Red Slough, Little Reedy Creek, and Big Reedy Creek our
ride goes on flat in these bottoms through Westville and into Ponce de Leon proper.
We are now a formidable team of pedalers and we spin from 84 feet
above sea level in Ponce De Leon and gear up the 7 miles of winding U.S. 90 to the heights of 267 feet above sea level.
It's not the highest point in Florida, nor even the highest point along
our ride. Florida's peak is to the north, at Britton Hill where the land rises to 345 feet. Our ride's highest point is
behind us, near Mount Pleasant on mile 22 of Day One when the plateau took us to the dizzying height of 325
feet above sea level.
Now the outskirts
of DeFuniak Springs appear and we hit our final courthouse of a four-courthouse day. Avery declares it the
best of all.
On this day, 18 years since I purchased it --
an expense I celebrate every moment of this ride -- the Santana tandem carrying us earns a moniker. The two-seated bicycle
has never had a name, but it sure does now.
The machine we pedaled 60 miles this day and 96 miles thus far on the Tour de Wahoo does now and shall evermore
recall and mimic the name of the first library bookmobile in DeFuniak Springs.
I give you the Choctawhatchee Chariot.
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Wahoo Tour Day One: Slow time
Thu, July 20, 2017 | link
Day One starts
in Midway and sets out along U.S. 90.
The Old Spanish Trail or Blue Star Memorial Highway
or State 10 -- this road has more aliases than Jason Bourne -- undulates on its way past Hurricane Creek as a four-lane
divided highway into Quincy. This is our first of eight county seats and eight courthouses.
We are still in town when the first rain shower
begins and we escape the drops by steering into a car wash bay. From there the ride takes us into Gretna along
a two-lane oak, crape myrtle, pine and pecan-lined highway. A wide shoulder of new asphalt gives us smooth
sailing through Mount Pleasant. A dump truck and a tractor trailer full to overflowing with green tomatoes rumbles past.
A roadside stand offers to "Cure
migraines. Cure AIDS. Cure cancer. Medical honey."
With cloud cover to keep the day cool we speed down a mile-long descent.
Then. The inevitable.
Pedal by pedal we ascend, our spinning in sync and my breathing ever more labored until
we achieve the summit of a mile-long climb. It is a slow slog past confinement buildings of three state agencies. We are
simultaneously a quarter mile from Georgia, a half mile from the Central Time Zone, and three quarters
of a mile from Alabama.
We stop for
lunch in this confluence.
A steep drop takes us onto the bridge over the Apalachicola
River, just downstream from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers' Jim Woodruff Dam impounding Lake Seminole. Just
like that we lose an hour of time and enter CDT, affectionately known as Slow Time hereabouts.
Now I grow more concerned with the looming thunderheads,
sheets of distantly visible rain and the flash of ominous lightning. Thankfully the terrain remains flat as we pedal swiftly
through the bottoms of the swollen Apalachicola on raised roadway until returning to ground and more prisons.
On we ride into Sneads where,
after a pee and a Gatorade, I stake us to a spot beneath an abandoned building's long, covered façade.
There we stay, protected from the deluge. And stay for more than two
hours. At last, I give up, call in Lyssa to stop for us. I load the tandem atop the Subaru and we drive, dry, the 19 miles
into Marianna and our shelter for the night.
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Wahoo Tour, setup
Wed, July 19, 2017 | link
An old man and a newly minted teen get on a tandem bicycle and pedal from Tallahassee to Pensacola on the Old Spanish Trail.
Four days of riding on progressively
flatter routes. The plan includes nightly stops in a series of Panhandle towns, culminating in Pensacola with two nights of
baseball and a day at the beach.
Lyssa, our support crew, drives from town to town with our luggage and gear then travels down to the coast and a different
beach each day.
game. Dad is eager. Lyssa is gassed up.